christmas morning

aaahhhhh life is beautiful!

just ranting

i know its christmas but can i just rant? i just cant believe a person could be full of negativity that she cant afford to say anything nice to someone even to her own family! you be nice to her and for sure, she'll say something against you. you keep quiet (to avoid those nasty things) and you end up being inconsiderate. so what to do? its impossible to avoid her. i understand that bad things and age had caused her to be that way, but c'mon!! it's so tiring and so so deafening to hear it all times!! all the complaints about every single thing. the 'bad things' that people do to her and not do to her. no matter how many times people around her tell her to do otherwise, she cant stop. oh well.

i just hope i don't end up like that.

PS: i dont mean to be mean here (its my personal blog anyway), i am just ranting ;)

financial learnings

2010 is about to end and it has been really tough for us especially on the financial side. the important thing is, we've learned and we are still standing. AND we have faith that God will see us through this.

oh, and did i say that these learnings had also cost us? sheesh. oh well. again, at least we've learned. let me put it into writing so we won't forget. hahaha!

when selling an item, learn to wait. give a time line before lowering the price. money down (fully paid) before giving it to the buyer even if its a relative or a trusted friend.     

never do business with MFB!

one won't really earn big by joining a bazaar. if you want to earn, make joining a bazaar a business. join regularly.

in a car accident, don't admit right away that it's your mistake. keep your cool. relax. get a police to assess the situation. 

when engaging into a new business, do not use your personal money especially if you just have enough. save some more or make a loan.

selling online could be somewhat difficult. one has to have a lot of network to be able to sell continously. buying items in another country and selling it here in the philippines is good. one just has to know the right products that will sell. if unsure, just try a few items first. otherwise, you'll be stuck with the products.

purchasing electronics in another country will cost less, true. but when shipped here, it will cost more because of taxes and customs dues. PLUS, when the unit gets defective, the authorized centers could repair it but it would also cost more since the parts had to be ordered abroad too.

 

don't own a credit card. period. :) if unavoidable, try to maintain just one (and only ONE) and keep the credit limit at a minimum. pay on time and in full.

 

it is ok to help other people. secure yourself and family first.

 

cheap items or buying items at a bragain does not really mean that it is of high quality. it is best to canvass and research. plus asking around helps too.

tithe. it will be an 'added expense', but base on experience, doing so will help you have enough resources for all of your expenses. honest!

God is amazing!

the few things i miss

there are a few things i miss about having a job in the corporate world especially during Christmas season. one is having the christmas bonuses. yup, bonusES! :)  i used to work in a very generous telecomms company that gives up to 21 months bonus! though our salary is low and that its taxable, still, i have been blessed for 7 years to have received it. aside from that, we also get to received a christmas package consisting of chocolates, cookies, chips, coffee, and food for noche buena such as spaghetti sauce, noodles, Nestle all purpose cream,  fruit cocktail, condensed mil etc. on top of it all, we get to receive 4 pieces of 1kg ham! 

i also miss the parties. funny, i used to not like attending the company's christmas parties. well, perhaps i just like the idea of having to have a christmas party to attend to. hehe.

i miss giving gifts. my gosh, with all those christmas bonuses, i could afford to give gifts! haha. well at least now, i get to choose who i want to give and the gift is really well thought of.  

i also miss receiving gifts of course from colleagues.

it's different now. i miss those things but i surely don't regret this new world where i am now. it's a time well spent with my family (especially that i dont have to work on Christmas day and even the new year), close friends (which is much better than with colleagues that you are "forced" to be with, and with loved ones. the gift of time and relationships are the best things that i could ever have and definitely i cant live without.

nanay

nanay, husband gelio's grandmother, passed away this morning...

messy world

there's so much things to be done this last quarter of the year and that's causing me stress. whats kinda frustrating about it is that it shows! vain! nah! it just shows that i have too many things at hand that i can't handle it all :(

whew! breathe in, breathe out.

since we closed the food cart business, all items are here at our humble abode. the cart, freezer, leftover stocks, etc.

some px goods are also stored here at home. me and my friends tried selling these stuff second quarter of this year. we still have leftover stocks and everything is here too.

we also have old clothes, toys, shoes, unclaimed bedsheets and comforters from the laundry shop which are for disposal. and yes, they are all here.

imagine what our house looks like now :( and sicne our house is small and we don't have a garage nor a storage area, everything is all around us. poor us.

i wish i could dispose all of it by first quarter next year. aside from garage sale and online selling, which i think i dont really have the gift for it, i don't know how else to dispose them. para na rin magign pera. hehe.

i read somewhere that if your area or workplace is messy, it means that your life is a mess. oh no! whether it's true or not, well for the moment it is true for me. :( not so good especially its the christmas season. i pray that everything will be clean soon.

franchise learnings

after just about three months in operation, we decided to finally close our food cart franchise business :'( we lost money, and staff but i am sure we did learn. we felt bad of course. the staff that we had to let go were really trustworthy and hardworking people. they did not want to go back to our laundry business. and we can't hold them right? they too need a job. and so they did look for other employers.

we also tried to look for a different location where we can place our food cart. the thing is, we can't afford yet the 3 months advance and 2 months deposit. also, we still have issues with our franchisor and the product itself that we want to put it to rest first.

so what did we learn from this food cart business?

1) it doesn't mean that if you like the product -- like in our case, corn -- a lot of people will like it too.

2) don't be in a hurry.

3) take seriously the things such as: market research, product study,  background check, company profiling, etc.

4) don't believe everything you see online or what you read. like in our case, MFB claims that they were awarder as the 2009 Best Filipino Foodcart Franchise Provider. base from our experience we now question their credibility. awards like this could be bought. i don't want to be mean, but our experience with them was really really that bad! we have a contract with them for 3 years. if that matters to them, or if WE the franchisor meant anything to them, they will wonder why we stopped operating right? we havent heard from them since the beginning. we do the follow ups even the repair of the cart (which was reported first day upon delivery), the signed and notarized contract, the orders, the defective items that they delivered, the poor quality of corn cobs, etc. if they are the BEST PROVIDER, how come we experience these? anyway, ill write a blog about them one of these days. one last thing, if they are the BEST, then where are the other franchisors? there is no COMMENT or TESTIMONIALS in their webpage.

5) consider all other costs such as taxes, permits, franchise fee (if any), profit share (if any), sanitation training (required for food business), other items not included in the package like the 12% VAT (MFB did not mention in their training that all items we get from them are not yet VAT inclusive), provision of fire extinguisher, garbage bags, tupperware, water, ice, and so on. little things but when summed up, will cost a lot.
6) if possible, get in touch with those people who have the same franchise and get feedback.

 

7) when getting a franchise, get the one with a name. it may not be as big as McDonald's or Jollibee, but there are other companies who could really give quality products AND service; who will be true to their word when they say that they will give support.

 

8) it pays to pay extra.  

 

9) to open a franchise, one should have enough money for unforseen circumstances.

 

10) pray. expect the worst and hope for the best.

 

skin problem

it's been days (or was it weeks?) since my last entry. sorry. well, there are things to be done... or not. :) well, for one thing, there's something that is about to happen. something that my husband thought of and he would want me to execute it first. hopefully, God will provide us the means and materials and time for it go on smoothly. as for our part, we will do our best. i'll get into the details once its final.

for now, let me share what i've experienced this afternoon.

i went to the drugstore hoping to find an ointment to treat my gazillion of pimples that suddenly appeared on my back. i found none. actually, i went to a different drug store last night and i tried to search for that ointment. there was none too. what i did find was a gazillion of ointment, lotions, soap, etc. for skin whitening! excuse me, but i have nothing against people who use it and would want to have a fairer skin. but, c'mon!! other ladies have all sorts of skin problems too like skin asthma, keloid, and pimples (and not just on the face). is there just a few of us who have the problem such as these? or am i at the wrong place and should really go see a dermatologist? i refuse to believe that there isn't a solution for such concerns that comes in a bottle! :D

anyway, it tells one thing. that there's a big number of ladies who would want to have a fair skin. but why? i remember the 6 year old daughter of our guard at the office before. she asked her father to buy her a skin whitening soap. and i was like, what?!! at first it was funny, but come to think of it, a 6 year old? 

does a fairer skin makes you look more beautiful? but black could be beautiful. look at miriam quiambao, venus raj, eva longoria, etc. anybody could be beautiful!

true i have a fair complexion and if i wasn't, i am not sure if i'll be one of those who will be buying the whitening products. i was just wondering if being "black" or "moreno" is really a big problem that a lot of companies put their efforts on such whitening products. becuase i think they tend to overlook some of the skin problems and so fail to come up with as much solutions. 

i just want a cure for my pimples on my back :'(   

the other one

every now and then, i hear couples arguing about a girl, whether it be true or just plain heresay [or what they call chismis here in the philippines], still it does arise in one of the things that couples fight about.

certainly it's not only men who have this "other girl". it could happen to women as well, having "other man" in their lives.

i wonder why?

is it really "common" in a relationship to fight about "the other one?" i really hope not. at this age and time, i would still want to believe in forever after, of till death do us part, of one-woman-man or of one-man-woman, of making God the center of the married life, of marriage and commitment!

am i being unrealistic? believing too much in fairytales? hoping too much? am i too scared?

i am not being judgemental here. and i also don't know if i  myself will remain committed to my loving husband and vice versa. i hope and pray that this is not one of the things that we will ever fight about. i don't like it.

i want to stay committed.

sundays

since weekdays are spent mostly at school, work and doing other errands, we treasure weekends to be able to spend quality time with each other.

saturday is usually our errands day like going to the pediatrician or attending a party or doing grocery. we like going to the grocery together. its fun. especially when we see the food that we like, openning it and eating it right there. i know its not really allowed inside, but hey, we make sure we pay for it. honest!

sundays, i like. one thing that we try not to really miss is going to church as a family. that's a priority and a really important thing for us. if we have extra budget, we eat out to our fave restaurants. it doesn't have to be fancy, as long as we satisfy our cravings. we go to the mall once in a while, buy what is essential and sometimes treat raya to her favorite place -- timezone! other times, she gets to buy a toy. we try to control this of course.

if we don't have the budget, we have lunch or dinner at home. we will cook our "no-frill-good-food such as tocino (with salted eggs and tomatoes), fried chicken (with Maggi noodle soup), spam (with sunny side up egg), etc. since we are home, we would just read or rest in our room and turn on the aircon. at times gelio and raya will cook their favorite popcorn and watch videos. it is at weekends that we allow ourselves to eat "junk food" like chips and sodas and plenty of chocolates! if we don't have errands, we are allowed to sleep late, wake up late and even sleep through the day. it is also a time wherein the house especially the room is a mess and we couldn't care less.

lazy day, chips, sodas, popcorn, chocolates, kiddie parties, timezone, messy bedroom, comfort foods, messy bedroom, half a day spent on the bed with the kids in an airconditioned room....

ahhh.... life is beautiful!

i wish

kainis! i wasn't able to go out yesterday and buy a lotto ticket. prize reached to Php303M already and i just let the opportunity slipped. i even texted my friends and my husband so that they could have that opportunity of being a millionaire. my husband just laughed at me. i have read that the probability of winning the lotto is like 1:200M. hmmm... still, there is this one chance right?

i have thought countless times of what to do with the loot just in case God will grant it to me :) like what my friend cimeon always says when we discuss about being billionaires, God knows that we will share and donate and we promise not to be selfish. promise, cross my heart! :) anyway,  here's what i'll do:

• give 10% to church. half to GCF  (where we go to church) and half to Gawad Kalinga (i am a member of Singles for Christ).
• give to our missionary friends. i'll have to ask them what they need. perhaps money or car to one, a car and 3 educational plans (till college) to their 2 kids, a house & lot to the other one and of course medical assistance to their son.
• buy a big lot wherein two houses could fit. 1 hosue will be for us and the other one for my mom & dad. a pool or a nice garden will be the one in between us.
• buy a 2 bedroom condominium for my mother in law and sister in law.
• a house and lot in the US for my other sister in law.
• of course pay all our debts including that of my immediate family's and of my husband's
• buy a volvo SUV (or any 'safe') for me and my kids
• i have to set aside trust funds for my kids
• a fast food franchise for my elder sister and a trust fund for her son
• i want to enter build and sell business and i'll get my dad to be the architect. that way, he could go back to what he loves doing and then earning from it as well 
• a car for my mom.
• a condominium and a business capital for my good friend cimeon.
• for 3 good high school barkada, annual travels. vegas will be our first destination.

that's it. these are on top of my list. i cannot spend all of the loot in just one sitting! :) there's also the education for my kids, a culinary education for me, a masters degree at MIT for my husband, our annual travels and constant support to the church and the needy. the needy includes not only the poor (they get support from the government and other private institution) but also people that i know and don't know who truly deserves help.

i don't know if i'll ever win the lotto or have laods of money that i couldn't count them. its free to wish. hehe. i just pray that money won't destroy me. that's why i'm writing this down, so that i'll be reminded that i will truly give and share. anyways, blessings are best when shared.   

superhero raya

i am so proud of my first daughter raya! we are so blessed! most kids her age (she is now 3.9 years old) wants to be a princess. raya wants to be a superhero because she wants to save people's lives. :) she believes she can do it all and can never be hurt because she is a superhero.

it's not not only cute but fulfilling. as parents, we try our best to inculcate in them good set of values of course. we set standards and i admit, i expect a lot considering that i'm a stay-at-home-mom who's got plenty of time for her kids.

so during our very first parent-teacher-conference, me and husband gelio met with the teachers together becuase we believe that we can give each other strength. haha! we don't know what to expect. we don't even know what happens on PTCs! maybe, we are also scared to know of raya's limitations. and as i've mentioned in my previous blog, her flaws could reflect on us. but then, her strengths are also a reflection on our parenting. so here are some of the results i can remember...

like what we already noticed, she needs to improve on her identification of numbers. the teachers are giving her extra activities and exercises to help her with it and she willingly comply at all times. we are also trying to teach her every possible way we can without the pressure. learn through play.  

the superhero in her shows everytime she helps anika, the youngest girl in the group, with whatever. she is always at her side willing to offer her services. even if raya is the second to the youngest, she teaches her classmates how to dance! even if its ballet, she can make her classmates (boys & girls) follow her.  she is sociable in a way that she participate in class and join her classmates with all the singing and dancing and all the activities whether its new to her or if its a bit difficult for her. she welcomes newcomers and guests with a warm "hi".

she is actually focused everytime she is doing something especially when she likes what she is doing like coloring and doing puzzles. she is so good at it that even the teachers are amazed. clap! clap! clap!

raya is happy at school even if it means wiping the table or sweeping the flor. she gladly volunteers herself to be the cleaner. very responsible that she packs away the toys after playing.

we are pleased with the results. we believe that we made the right decision in enrolling her at age  3.6 and in the school that is well balanced.

we are blessed to have a superhero who is strong and gentle, ready to help with a smile, eager to learn, sweet and has a big heart.

passion

passion, according to wikipedia means, an intense emotion compelling feeling, enthusiasm, or desire for something. A person is said to have a passion for something when he has a strong positive affinity for it. A love for something and a passion for something are often used synonymously.

i love to bake. so how come i am not good at it? so it's not true that if you love what you do, you are good at it? well, it's not all the time that it's bad, it's just that, it's not perfect. and i want it to be perfect! :) i follow the cook book. i use the right ingredients. i didn't go to a culinary school but i know that there are lots of good chef/bakers that didn't have it too and yet they are good. so it coul be that it's not baking that i am passionate about but it's the eating part? hmm... probably :) but i'd still like to learn how to bake [perfectly] what i love to eat! hay!

i'm passionate about my kids. but i do get tired :(

i like to read, but sometimes, i find it hard to make time for it or to find a good book.

i love sports. i used to do tae kwon do in high school until 1st year college and i was  part of the UP rowing team whole of my college life.  now, i don't play any sports.

again, Confucius said that it is important that you DON'T stop. keep on going.

that's why i attended photography class. because i like to learn to take good photos. and i have the best subject which is my family. the events and activities that we have is more than enough practice for me. and my teacher said that we cannot get it in one or two classes. so keep on learning and keep on clicking :)

i'm glad that my husband loves to read books as well. so we share. it doesn't matter that i just read 1 book per month or every other month, at least i do get to read. i'm actually reading a couple of books at a time...the Bible, inspirational book, finance, novel, parenting and of course my kids' books :) wow, talk about learning!

sports, maybe some day. ill stick to my walking and sit ups first. and i honestly want to try yoga.

the baking... i still have a long way to go and a lifetime to practice. i know i'll reach that perfection. i also try to search for recipes online. i attend some cooking class especially at Nestle Club when sked permits it :)


as for my kids, i'm still learning the ropes of motherhood/parenting. yes, i lose control at times, but i'm learning. i am growing up as well.


as my 3 year old raya sings, "keep practicing, keep practicing..."

happy 8th month robin!

i cooked mac & cheese (a lot of thanks to my titas in australia for sending us a lot of different cheese), chicken bbq and choco loaf to celebrate rob's 8th month.

 

we are happy and proud of her. she smiles a lot and that makes her more beautiful!

she can push herself up and stand. actually, she'd rather stand than sit down.

she crawls so fast. most of the time, she knows when to stop so that she won't fall off the bed :)

two of her incisors have started to show.

she eats a lot. she even likes ampalaya and broccoli.

she is sweet. when she wakes up, she gives us a kiss or reach for our hands to let us know that she is already up.

i can't remeber when did it start, but she can now sleep through the night. meaning, 8 hours of sleep. straight. yipee!

she also laugh a lot everytime her ate raya plays with her.

she is in good health, a happy & strong baby.
aaahhhhh... life is good!

her weakness, my weakness

i saw Raya's school calendar and was reminded that the parent-teacher conference in her school is near. i asked huband if he could be the one to face the teachers and discuss Raya's performance with him cos i don't want to do it. i am honestly scared :( i am pretty sure that Raya have some amazing qualities such as that she could easily finish a puzzle, she is eager to learn, she wants to play with her classmates, she likes her surroundings to be clean and that she packs away her toys after using them and a lot more. she is one smart kid i know. but i am also aware that there are areas for improvement. who doensn't want her child to be perfect anyway? :) i am scared because her weakness is my weakness [as a parent], right? i know for a fact that she can't yet identify numbers and the alphabet even if she can recite and sing them.  and so it is my responsibility to teach her. so if she doesn't know, that means i couldn't teach her well? or my teaching skills are not right for her? or teaching time isn't enough? something isn't right. hmmm... i should exert more, huh? simple things, and yet so hard to teach. its always like that right. the simplest things are the hardest to learn, to teach, to practice. and this is what i call learning from your kids! :)

a bit of rain

i received a call from Mahal today informing me that the company has given some of them a slight increase in their salary. it might not be much, but it sure is an unexpected blessing from above.

thank you Lord!

robin at 7 months

yey! at 7 months old, robin can stand and sit. she needs help though. but she is so strong! she would grab on to something -- the headboard, our leg, our tummy or our hands -- then push herself up :) when we put her in her crib, she doesn't want to be in a lying or sitting position, it has to be in standing position.

she crawls so fast that she can't be left alone on the bed even for a second. i don't want to remove the bedframe anymore like what we did when raya was a baby. instead, i added some pillows around her (which she can easily go over to) and placed some mats around the bed. 

when she poops or wakes up, you wouldn't hear a cry from her. we sometimes would know if she's awake when she has fallen off the bed already. hehe. 

also, her 2 incisors (lower part) have started to show up. i found out when she bit me and it hurts :)

i counted her spots the other day ;) i think there are about 17 spots in her body.  i don't know if its adding up each day or it's just there ever since. some are beginning to lighten already.

she is still talkative. even at 5 in the morning! sometimes, she grabs my finger or kisses me (with open mouth and all that saliva!) to let me know that she is awake. she is my alarm clock. wow, tipid. hehe.

oh, and her face is changing too. i really think she looks like me. i know it!  

tough year

this has really been a very tough year for me, for us. deaths, marital adjustments, parenting issues, business & work challenges and financial struggles. i keep on telling myself that i do hope this year will end because i am hoping that 2011 will be different, will be better.  but is it really the year that matter? circumstances? or its just me? or its just fate? yeah, i know that "everything happens for a reason" and that "God is preparing me for greater things" and "this too shall pass" and i do beleive that.  

so for now, i'll just breathe in, face it all, pray more and never stop hoping.

i am

i'm in my thirties, married, got two kids and yet it still surprises me on the things i discover especially about myself. i learn and grow because i am a wife and a mother.

a lot of my friends say that they never thought i would be a housewife and a stay at home mom. maybe because i used to organize events which requires partying all night. i was also into sports which requires me to train in the mornings and afternoons and even on weekends. i have diverse set of friends whom i hang out with every week. in short, i just go home to sleep, take bath and change clothes :)

well, that's the teenage life. married life and motherhood is different. and i can say that it brings out the best in me :) i have my kids to thank for. raya, a toddler and, robin, an 8-month old baby. and of course, a very understanding and supporting husband. 

in this new phase of my life, i became more patient (tho i need to stretch it some moooorrree!) especially when it comes to tending to raya's constant need of attention and robin's  assurance every time she cries for no reason at all. it takes a lot of effort not to spank raya when she is being a brat. and can i just say more patient with my husband? (sorry mahal!) well, men are from mars. period! haha! i try to forgive easily. how can i not be when a "sorry" is followed by a hug and a kiss from a kid? i try to be creative too so as to turn a boring day to a fun filled day. it could be a baking day, or a puzzles day or a time at the park day or an ice cream day, etc. i also find creative ways to teach raya about numbers, alphabet, how to write, drawn, and talk about God. i can also cook now. well on a regular basis. im still not that good but at least my family isn't hungry. i think i am more practical too. again, ive learned the expensive way. buying things that are of no use. realizing later on that i could buy stuff at a cheaper price. i now found out that some things are really not worth buying. i am not selfish, but i learned to think of myself less. tending to my family's needs is on top of my list. its ok for me if i don't get an 8-hour sleep, just as long as i rise up early and prepare their things and breakfast. i learned to be a kid again where playing is fun. its both a learning and bonding moment for us.

there are plenty of things, really. sometimes i myself could not believe that i could do it. so i just offer a prayer of thank you to God for allowing me to be better and for seeing it. for giving me these special people who could bring out the best in me. i am humbled. 

it makes me want to be a better person. to seek and know God more. so i could pass this on to them. cos the joy and peace it brings... its so amazing!

making it work

it's been five years (and counting) since i've been married to this wonderful man. we were a couple for four years prior to getting  married. so that's a total of nine years of togetherness! :)  i honestly look forward to growing old with him. it is always in my prayer that we both have a good long life together.

i know we still have a long way to go. still more obstacles to encounter, and more fights to face. but along with that, there are joys and success to share, funny experiences with our daughters to witness, seeing dreams unfold, beers to toast, coffee to share and travelling to places, and so so so much more! i know there will be temptations too. somebody will be better than him or me. but i don't want to waste my energy on things that is not there yet. instead, i want to focus on the present by making our marriage work. there is no other way. we made a commitment to each other, to our family, and most importantly, to God.

so what do we do to make it work?  make it work! :) and aside from the usual things like acceptance, forgiveness, excitement, support, and love, i still think that making God the center of the marriage is the number 1 rule. i know it is passe but it is true. if not, then what is?

 

photography by Dino Lara





my preparation

recently, we attended the funeral of the father of a friend. and we realized that for this year, we've attended 4 funerals of people that are close to us. last week, it was our church's senior pastor's wake. last month, it was the 22month-old son of a friend. months ago, it was my mom's sister. so sad.

deaths are unavoidable. all of us will eventually face death. it's just that, most of the time it comes when we least expect it. or are we just not ready? others find it scary. why should it be? isn't it that death means going home and finally meeting our Creator? with Him, all questions will be answered. with Him, there is no suffering, no pain, no problems, no chaos. none of the bad, sad and negative stuff. it also entitles us to claim His promise of everlasting life where there is peace, harmony and happiness. isnt that great? we are God's work in progress, constantly changing us and guiding us. so that when it is finally our time to join God in Heaven, we are already made perfect. WOW!

so i realized that instead of worrying and being scared of the unknown, we need to prepare, right? we have to know and be completely ready. i made a list of to-do's. i'll try hard to do it so that i could say that i am worthy of His promise.

• to try to forgive AND forget those who have hurt and wronged me
• avail of a death insurance (i want be cremated by the way)
• to be the best husband to gelio and be the best mom to raya and robin (and if God will grant us another child, to him/her as well)
• be good. do good.
• read the Bible regularly
• pray harder
• touch people's lives
• to truly and fully LIVE MY LIFE

what are their problems?

one of my random thoughts is, what are the problems of the rich? how to keep their money? where to invest? how much more can they earn this year?  how to spend them? what else to do with it?

my husband asks me, would you exchange your life with them? well, how should i know? i havent been rich in my life. hehe.

but i do wonder, seriously :D

i'll just keep on trying to have that abundace :D

great love

its amazing how God sends His message to me. i am so thankful that i came upon this video the other day and it really touched me. 

it talks about a lot of things... i see faith, true strength, and great love.



my birthday

it's my birthday yesterday (yipee!) and so i had the right to be pampered and be spoiled by people around me (another yipee!). and so everybody was nice. hehe. i wish birthdays would come more than twice a year ;) 

here's what happened...

Mahal woke me up at 12MN and gave me

in which he held as i blew the candle and made my wishes. he also gave me a pair of Sanuk shoes which i've been wanting ever since i laid my eyes on them. they're so classic! and comfy too. i like!

we started the day by bringing our first daughter to school. we then had coffee while we wait for her. i had my third birthday surprise when he gave me his love letter which i've been requesting since last year. awwww. i was touched.

  

next surprise was when our dear Pastor Benjie arrived! we talked about our marriage and of course, God's message. we prayed and he gave us his blessings. he's really been a part of our family life and i am so glad we have him. he's been gelio's mentor since he was a kid. he raised him up to be a truly disciple of Christ. he blessed us when we got married and held my daughters' dedication. he is God-sent.

since it's also our 5th wedding anniversary, my husband also deserved to be pampered. and so we went to

to be pampered, complete with champage and belgian chocolates!

wow! and the room looks like this

it's so nice. so luxurious! we feel like a king and queen! we love this place. it's highly recommended. we've been here a couple of times and we never got disappointed. after the massage, we had a snack of tea and yummy yummy yummy fruits with yogurt. sarap ng feeling!

second to the last surprise was a romatic dinner :)

while we were resting, Mahal gave me his final birthday/anniversary gift... a new set of wedding bands :)

it was truly a day filled with love. looking to more birthdays and anniversaries with my family :) truly, i am blessed.

thank you Lord!

happy birthday mom

its my mom's birthday today. she is now 60 and she doesn't look her age at all. perhaps she is truly happy with her life or she just knows how to handle her numerous concerns.

i love my mom. despite our differences, she is one person i am afraid of losing. selfish as it may seem, i pray to God that she may not join Him yet. i need her in more ways than one. she takes care of our kids when we are out, even if she wants some peace and quiet for rest. she buys stuff for us especially for the kids, sometimes ending up not buying anything for herself.  she treats us to restaurants, even if it means using her credit card and paying it off for months. she gives advise especially on marriage and motherhood even to the brink of being tactless. she lends us money even if it means touching her funds for her retirement. she includes us in her grocery list, even if it means going beyond her budget.

again, she is now 60 years old, and she still works hard. i know she would want to retire and enjoy her life. but she cant. she wont. and its because of us and her grandchildren.

these things that she does for us, no matter how small it is, its really BIG for me. i wonder if she knows that i really appreciate it all. i am not good in expressing my feelings to my family (i am trying to change that now in my own family). there are time that i find it annoying when she keeps on yakking at me. and yet, i sometimes find myself following her advise.

i just don't know how i can repay her for her sacrifices for us as a mother. it sometimes hurts my pride to see that she is the one who's helping us instead of the other way around. as of now,  i try my best and pray hard to be the best mother for raya & robin and to be the best wife to gelio. maybe somehow, i could return the favor.

my mom, she desrves the best. if only i have the resources, i'd love to give her a car so she wont have to commute. or perhaps buy her a plane ticket, business class, to somewhere where she wants to go. or shopping money and buy whatever she wants. or a house to her name. that will be great!

but for now, i'll still continue to include her in my prayers. that God may continue to bless her and make her happy. to be at peace with her life.  and that before she returns to Him, may she be truly fulfilled with her life.

hugs and kisses to you mom. i love you!

waiting

i've been praying and holding on... went to Quiapo church yesterday too... kept on thinking on the positive side to earn positive vibes... been living life as it is... trying to do the right thing... careful not to hurt others... keeping myself busy and productive...

... so what's next?

lunch out

had lunch at UNO and we had these:

it was all good! i wasn't able to take pics of the rest :) too busy eating. hehe. its my first time to eat here and i like its cozy ambiance. i had nice company. they are my girl friends from our growth group. funny, we've known each other for more than five years and yet, rarely do we go out and have lunch together. maybe because we are busy with our own family which takes so much of our time. i do hope we could do this more often. i like them because they are nice people and most of all, they have a deep relationship with God and those kind of friends is what i need especially these days. it is different if you constantly talk to friends who have family as well. i need that kind of support group. helps me understand more about raising kids, marriage and how it is to have a family. i thank God for friends like them, for great food, for this kind of friends and for this kind of dessert

amen!

girl-boy friendship

someone recently confided in me that there's a buzz going on around their office about her and her married boss. she said that there is really nothing going on between the two of them but just plain friendship. i trust her of course, but the guy, well i can't judge him since i do not know him.

so, that girl-boy friendship thing, is it for real?

my husband is a non-believer. well for girl-boy bestfriends, that is. hehe. he said that there is no such thing. if there is, it's bound to end in a relationship, a.k.a bf-gf relationship.

i myself used to have some close boy friends. now some of them are just a contact in facebook, some are hi-hello friends and some are just like strangers to me. it's as if we didn't know each other. i thought that i just lost contact or they ended up with a girl who doesn't like me so they cut ties. hehe.  but come to think of it, i also chose it to be that way and distance myself from them, as a sign of respect for my husband and for their partners as well. hey, i'm not against this girl-boy friendship. me and my husband started with this and we ended up perfect for each other :)  all i am saying is, there should be a line, a boundary. you could share the whole of you to your partner but not to a friend. you could tell your partner everything, but you keep some from your friends. your concerns are your partner's concerns as well. a friend sympathize with you. it's not really limiting the friendship but leaving no space for doubt for your partner and for your friend's partner too.

i think a relationship starts with a good and honest intent from both sides. if it's for friendships sake, then it is for friendships sake. as simple as that. if a single boy wants to pursue a single girl, and the girl likes the boy, then it will lead to a deeper relationship. if just one intended for friendship, and the other wants a different thing, then it wont go anywhere.  

 

drowning

i'm sad, scared and frustrated. these past days, our countless debts are beginning to take its toll on me. now i don't know when we'll be able to finish paying it all off :'( it's not really that we spend a lot on unneccessary (spell check) stuff. can i just say that it just did pile up? i am not into designer bags, clothes or shoes. i am not even into shopping. it did accumulate i guess because of our trip past 2 years and of course, the interest on the cards just keeps on adding up. only husband has a regular monthly income. true, i have 2 businesses. but it is not enough especially now that we have two kids. one is in pre-school and the other one, has a monthly shot which costs an average of Php4,000 per month :(

waaaah! i am drowning honestly. i am sad because i desperately want and need to have another regular source of income to help husband. i am scared because we might not have enough savings for real emergencies. and i am frustrated because i keep on trying and very little outcome :( the newly opened food cart business isnt really taking off as expected and selling online isnt much of a success either.

hay... sometimes i wonder what's the concern of the rich ;)

anyway, the good thing is i still believe that we will be able to rise from these dilemma and we will be able to pay all our debts. most importantly, God has never left us and has always provided. i am holding on to His promise that He won't  forsake us. as my friend, @investorjuan said, pera lang yan. besides, others have more serious problem than we do. what makes me go on too is that i know that me and my husband are together in this

amen!

frachise issues update

just an update, we had a meeting yesterday with our franchisor. it went ok, not the best though. i choose to remain hopeful. hopeful that from now on, their service especially in the line of communication will be better and that their succeeding delivery of their products will be of high quality. they mention that they will have a price increase. well, they still have to prove that they have the right for that price increase. we still have a loooong way to go with that franchisor. we have a contract of three years and we just started a month ago. maybe we just had a bad start. they may have valid reasons for the bad service that we received for the past month, but we will be watching them. according to my very disappointed sister, "markado na sila!". but i want to give them a chance. we will remain watchful and surely, they'll hear from us if things go the wrong way. i have to be honest, i would NOT recommend that franchise though. kainis tlga! even if we just had little time to research on that company, we constantly got in touch with them. it wasn't enough pala. it's also not enough that they responded constantly or if they have an office. it wasn't also enough that they are nine years in the business already. and it also may not be true that they were recently awarded best franchisor for the year ***  (something like that) as they claim, cos i heard, certain awards could be bought. hope it's not that way. but i just wonder, if they are nine years in the business as they claim, how come only a few franchisees got them here in MM? how come there's no feedback page or testimonial page in their website? hmmm, let's just see what happens for the remainder of the 3-year contract. let's be hopeful!

honestly, some things are really worth investing on. now we know, we will save enough, or perhaps get a loan, so that we will get a franchise with a big name because for sure, it will have the best service and quality. jollibee? mcdo? max's? haha! aim high! dream big! who knows? :)

* if you want to know who that franchise is, send me a private message. ha!

some kinda advice while pregnant

i had a fun time with my good friends @cimeon and jessa (not her real name ;p) last saturday night. i am truly grateful for the friendship that started at the workplace about 10 years ago. i am blessed becuase they say that it's hard to establish friendship at work. just like in showbiz. lol!

anyway, we talked about a lot of stuff especially about pregnancy and wedding. two of us have been through it and the other one is on its way there. i'm sure she'll hear plenty of advice from different people and i'm no expert, but i've shared some of my experieces and lessons about it.

during pregnancy:

* think happy thoughts

* eat healthy

* eat in moderation

* don't allow oneself to be big

* if you eat something that's prohibited like shrimp, soda, and salty food, yes you may eat, but very very little

* try to control laziness!

* make an effort to look good to feel good

* don't eat eggplant and shrimps

* walk, work around the house

* if you can and if permissible, do what you can (in moderation & extra care) and don't think that you can't just because you are pregnant

* watch light stuff; don't watch stuff that will scare or disappoint you like the news :)

* snack on veggies and fruits

i'll leave the rest for herself to discover :)

my struggles

i love my kids! i think i love them too much to spend all, if not, most of my time with them. they are my priority that at times, i tend to sacrifice my own needs and wants just for them. and i think its taking its toll on me. as they say, too much of anything is bad.

its deafening to hear them cry all day! even if rob is not hungry nor sleepy, there are times that she would just cry. raya on the other hand, cries for no reason at all. i think she craves for attention. she cries when she doesn't get what she wants and cries too when i get mad at her.

its also those menial tasks that makes my everyday life crazy! such as picking up towels and dirty clothes scattered all over, picking up and putting toys, pillows and books in order, thinking of what to have for lunch, dinner and even for baon, feeding time and sleep time.  add to it the discplining, the budgeting and worrying how to survive for the next payday!

it all seems like a struggle every single day. 

i now have a yaya/helper who helps around the house. i delegate tasks to her. she also helps out taking care of the kids. i don't think we need another helper. we can't afford it too. is this a case of time management? i don't think so since we already have a schedule of our daily routine. so is it now becoming routinary? i try to have a ME time once a week. i nap at times in the afternoon even if it's just 15 minutes. perhaps its not enough. but what can i do?

so, is it me? do i expect too much from my kids? from myself?

the last thing i would want to be is be a monster mom.

i also don't want to lose myself...