happy birthday mom

its my mom's birthday today. she is now 60 and she doesn't look her age at all. perhaps she is truly happy with her life or she just knows how to handle her numerous concerns.

i love my mom. despite our differences, she is one person i am afraid of losing. selfish as it may seem, i pray to God that she may not join Him yet. i need her in more ways than one. she takes care of our kids when we are out, even if she wants some peace and quiet for rest. she buys stuff for us especially for the kids, sometimes ending up not buying anything for herself.  she treats us to restaurants, even if it means using her credit card and paying it off for months. she gives advise especially on marriage and motherhood even to the brink of being tactless. she lends us money even if it means touching her funds for her retirement. she includes us in her grocery list, even if it means going beyond her budget.

again, she is now 60 years old, and she still works hard. i know she would want to retire and enjoy her life. but she cant. she wont. and its because of us and her grandchildren.

these things that she does for us, no matter how small it is, its really BIG for me. i wonder if she knows that i really appreciate it all. i am not good in expressing my feelings to my family (i am trying to change that now in my own family). there are time that i find it annoying when she keeps on yakking at me. and yet, i sometimes find myself following her advise.

i just don't know how i can repay her for her sacrifices for us as a mother. it sometimes hurts my pride to see that she is the one who's helping us instead of the other way around. as of now,  i try my best and pray hard to be the best mother for raya & robin and to be the best wife to gelio. maybe somehow, i could return the favor.

my mom, she desrves the best. if only i have the resources, i'd love to give her a car so she wont have to commute. or perhaps buy her a plane ticket, business class, to somewhere where she wants to go. or shopping money and buy whatever she wants. or a house to her name. that will be great!

but for now, i'll still continue to include her in my prayers. that God may continue to bless her and make her happy. to be at peace with her life.  and that before she returns to Him, may she be truly fulfilled with her life.

hugs and kisses to you mom. i love you!