last monday to tues, september 26-27, the storm pedring hits the country. it was scary. actually, with every storm that comes to pur country, scares me. with what happened to typhoon ondoy last year and the milenyo back in 2006, who wouldn't be traumatized. actually, i think i am more scared now because i am a mother. i honestly don't know what to do. i also don't know if i can handle everything if anything happens.
these typhoons, are proofs that anything can happen to anyone. how can one be ready, i don't know. even if i prepare the emergency kit that the experts require, even if i condition myself to be alert and not to panic, i know it will be different when i am in that situation already.
so my prayer goes like this: Lord i am glad for the rain that fills the dam and water the trees, but can it be just rain and not typhoon? please Lord, no disasters please.
i recently finished reading the book LIFE OF PI by yann martel which was recommened by my good friend jeanne while browsing through the bookstore in seoul.
at first, i thought that i would not like it since it is about animals in which i have no interest of. anyway, i just read it. and when i finished it, i was blown away.
actually, it got me thinking. when i asked jeanne what's the story about, she said that "it depends on you on how you would take it" and she is so right! the book is really nice. it is about life's struggles. all of us have trials in life, right? i may have problems with money, others with family, some with matters of the heart, some with weight, and so many different reasons. and yet, each one's struggle is the same. a problem is a problem. every one has it. and to every problem, there is a solution. there is always a way out. the only difference is our perspective.
it is also our choice to drown in misery or to move on and see what else life has to offer.
the books talks about survival. sure we need food and shelter. most importantly, we need companionship to really survive. sad thing is, for some, we don't really know the importantce of the people around us, until they are gone. the lesson, every person that we know, actually even those acquaintaces, have a purpose in our life. so learn to appreciate.
the book also reminded me that in life, we don't really need much. you look around you and make good use of it. God provides what we need. we just have to learn to appreciate and to always count our blessings!
some conversations with raya for the past months...
[saw raya touching her breasts and i asked why] raya: because i want it big! (feb 2011)
raya: mommy, you're harry potter and i'm ben ten and daddy is shrek (may 2011)
raya: mommy, i want to go to disneyland. (june 2011)
raya: mommy, i have an idea. after i finish eating, you can go home by yourself and i will stay with grammy, papi, kuya and ninang who are my family, then i'll wait for you here. (june 2011)
raya: where did you go? ME: i met up with tito rodel (bil). raya: mommy, i told you, tell me when you will go to tito rodel! ME: why? raya: because i want to play with him.... [then she recalled something that they played months ago about jumping and her tito rodel catching her]
raya: where are you going? ME: i'm going to buy shoes. raya: for me?!?! (with a big and excited smile). ME: i'll check. raya: i want pink shoes with light! pleeease!! (june 2011)
[raya drew a picture of 2 people] ME: wow! this is me and you. raya: no, that's me and daddy! (june 2011)
raya: mommy, can i have a dog? (june 2011)
ME: raya, mommy will go out tonight ok? raya: are you going to the laundry shop? ME: no. i'll have a date tonight with daddy. raya: a date? whats that? ME: its daddy and mommy time together. raya: oh, i want to have a date too. (july 2011)
raya: mommy, when daddy don't have meeting, can he bring me to school? (july 2011)
raya: teacher said i can't drink water because we need to save water everyday (july 2011)
raya: mommy, kuya watched smurfs the movie. ME: ok, we could watch it too over the weekend. raya: no, not with you. daddy only. (august 2011)
raya: mommy, can you buy me boots? so that i can wear it when its raining. (sept 2011)
raya: mommy, will you marry me? ME: but i am married to daddy. only mommies and daddies get married. raya: but i want you to marry me. ME: why? raya: so that you will love me...
the last one, gelio and i kept on explaining to her about marriage and love. hay, ang hirap! :) i just hope and wish that we don't love her less just because "i can't marry her".
had a great time on my birthday. it started with my usual routine of bringing raya to her school and picking her up. afterwhich, we bought a cake. this time, i wanted it to be different. i dont want the usual chocolate cake nor in a bakeshop that we usually go to. it was good. then we went to hear Mass, rested in the afternoon while waiting for husband to come home from work. he filed for leave but he had to go work in the morning for an emergency meeting. i made pancit by the way. first time to do that. not bad. hehe. anyway, we left early evening so we can make it to our reservation. the thing is, it took us 2 hours to get there. traffic was that bad!! anyway, we enjoyed the quiet time alone in the car talking. no kids! wow. quality time. and singing too. in the car, he gave me his second gift for the day. it was a chocolate bible from le cordon bleu. wowee!! the first gift which he gave was a set of nike outfit for my yoga and jogging. i love the gifts! i have the best husband! i am blessed.
to cap off the night, we went to a casino. i like the place. its fun. its so vegas! i played in a game that i didn't understand. i won and then i lost. so before i lose everything, i let gelio play. he is good at it. in the end, we lost just a small amount. we are responsible :) it was just for fun. and we did had a great time.
in a few minutes, i'll turn a year older. OH NO!!! no plans whatsoever. perhaps hear Mass with the kids in the morning then lunch at home. husband needs to go to the office in the morning. then dinner for two in the evening. it's our 6th wedding anniversary too. what the hell was i thinking when i agreed to be married on the same day as my birthday?! the day should focus on ME and not US. sheesh. joke!
i am not really the type to celebrate my birthday. i mean, i don't want that too much attention :) really, i am the backroom type of person.
on my birthday, i am reminded that i am a year older. of course! :) i am not scared to get old, rather, i am worried that i may have not gotten wiser and that i may have not done the things i wanted to do nor should have done. in short, i don't want a year to pass by without accomplishing anything! sayang naman diba? we only have one life. as the saying goes, live each day to the fullest as if its the last. but that's really hard to do. ey, i am not complaining. i just hope that ill get to the point wherein i would say "yeah, i've lived my life"!
when our second daughter robin turned 1 last february, we realized that she doesn't know a word yet and this got us worried. so i consulted our pedia and some of our friends. they said that we worry too much. and to give it a few months more. they also said that according to studies, the second child and up have a tendency to have a delay compared to first borns. anyway, so me and husband gelio decided to wait until she is 18 months old before having her checked. a friend recommended we see a neuro developmental pediatrician.
since she is now 18 months old, we had an appointment with dr. mark reysio cruz from capitol medical center. the result: there is a slight delay because of lack of opportunities. the good doctor, who happens to be husband's sunday school teacher when he was young, encouraged me to continue what i do to robin like reading aloud, pointing things and repeating it slowly, listen to music, etc. he also assured me that the delay is not my fault (got that? NOT MY FAULT!). it happens to some. and like what i read in books or magazines, the delay might just be at the beginning and as the child grows up, the child turns out to be talented and becomes exceptional. wow! i cant wait. lack of opportunities also may also mean lack of interaction with kids her age. so he gave me a go signal to enroll robin in a class at kindermusik or at gymboree. and just to be sure, he prescribed rob to have a formal hearing test (BAER). we ought to do those soon.
im being extra patient with rob. reading more. walking with her around the village and acquaint her with the things around her. i want to research on activities online. she likes my laptop. that might encourage her more. at 18 months, she understands a lot of stuff. she know what she wants and dont want. when she wants something, she grabs my hand (or her daddy and whoever) and bring us to what she wants or points at what she wants. she nods her head when she doesn't want something. its really just the speech. she was born on a full term via normal delivery. she was exclusively breasfed for 4 months and mixed until the 6th. she eats a lot of veggies and have complete shots. so i am assuming (and hoping) that everything is ok. Dr. mark also performed some tests and asked questions. most things that an 18 month old baby should be doing at their age, robin can do it. so i am somewhat assured.
i really hope that i can help her more. Lord, please help.
CRAZY, STUPID, LOVE is a funny movie worth watching. it seems light since it is a comedy, and yet, it speaks so much about family, marriage and love.
the story started when the character of julianne moore asked for a divorce from his husband, played by steve carell, of 25 years. the reason, not mainly because she had been unfaithful, but because she became unsure of herself and of her marriage.
when she told her husband that she did not know when it stopped being "us", it honestly scared me. i haven't felt that (oh my, i hope not--ever!), but fulfilling all the responsibilities of a mother, homemaker, wife and employee (or in my case, a struggling businesswoman) is one hell of a job that one could esily be lost in all of it. that is the truth especially when you have kids. i myself think of my daughters' needs first instead of me. the husband is often forgotten. i am sometimes guilty of that.
julianne moore was also unsure of herself because she did not know if it is ok to enjoy watching a movie by herself. that is why ME time is so important! to love oneself and to, like what my friend nicole said, to love oneself without giving yourself away. thats so nicely put, right? even steve carell forgot to take care of himself. good thing that the character of ryan gossling was there to help him realize of his value.
i realize that to be able to function well, one has to love herself/himself first. this could be done by having ME time. to do what you love to do. to be with friends. to be alone sometimes. to splurge. eat healthy. be beautiful. thats the way to spread the love.
always remember that before you and your kids became a family, there was just you and the spouse. i think it is also in the Bible that a married woman is first a wife before a mother. so make time with husband. go on dates. have fun together. engage in sports. give each other gifts and love letters. flirt with each other. be beautiful for your spouse. or simply talk and be friends just like old times. communication is the key to a good relationship.
there's one scene that i didn't like. its when steve carell's officemates laughed or took it lightly when they found out that he is getting a divorce. they think its "just a divorce" and not as serious as having a cancer. maybe in their culture or country, its common. but divorce is divorce. people get hurt. family break up. its not that simple.
family, i think everyone knows that this is the reason why we live, because of people we love. there might be differences or fights, but in the end, our family will always be there.
