to not go

in conclusion to my post previously, the answer is... to not go :( yes, financial coonstraint is the main reason. next are: the current chaos in russia right now due to the newly held elections; strict travel rules; we were uncertain when [nor IF] we will have a new helper on time; summer classes for the kids, etc. etc.

i kept on reminding my self to stick to our goals. 

and so is hubby. so he won't be making any side trip anymore like he used to. he will instead spend a few days with us and won't go back to work immediately after he returns from moscow. we are planning to go to a beach which the kids love. can't wait. i am glad that both me and hubby are making an effort for us to reach our goals.

so that guilty pleasure of ours might have to put on hold for a while. who knows, God might just surprise us sooner than we thought.

thank you

i thank God for giving us so much. i thank Him for answering our prayers, for those yet to be answered and more so for those things that we didn't even ask.

for this week alone,

i was able to have brunch with my girl friends from our growth group. i thank God for the good food, the time or break that i need, the good company and the learnings and support that we got from each one.

we were able to find a helper. woot! woot! hopefully she is the one. ;) well, i keep on praying for her still.

i was able to do devootions and read passages from the Bible more than once this week.

raya finally agreed to try again sunday school at church. and guess what? she enjoyed it!! she actually said to me that she want to come back. we also enrolled her to the 1 week vacation bible school. im not so sure what really happens during that week since its the first for my daughter. but my husband spent most of his summers attending it. thats where he met his friends which is part of our growth group now. they kept on raving about it. and they all turn out well. :)

we received some news from husband's office too. nope, not [yet] a promotion. just a little support to help us in some ways.

we also received husband's permit to travel since his medical exams came out ok. whew! i always worry about his health. thank God he is ok.

a friend's husband finally found a job. just right on time.

that's how God works, right? never late. always right on time.

so regarding my unanswered prayers, i know it will come. still, i thank Him.

i just wonder

sometimes i wonder if i am fit for this job of mine, you know, the domestic life a.k.a motherhood-and-slash-or-housewife. its a crazy world that i sometimes don't know what to do nor where to get the strength to move on. i have no regrets and no intention of quitting. its just that it is really tough and i wonder if i have what it takes to be promoted to the ceo level.

since we don't have a helper (yet) this summer, its me alone with the kids most of the time. the kids are blessed to have a hands on daddy who also loves to play with them everytime he's home. so what do i do when daddy needs to work? thats when i go crazy especially when i see my kids bored or hooked to the tube :(

the problem must be with me! :( for one thing, i am a boring mom. i'm not that creative when it comes to activities and play. i get tired easily when we play. im not really into tv, much more, into cartoons. so when they watch, i couldn't really stay focused. we couldn't really connect in this field. so perhaps this is the reason why raya once told her dad "i like you more than mommy". i wonder.

 

 

second, there's always something for me to do. chores, errands, and the business. it seems that i can't do it one thing at a time. it has to be done "now" because i seem to lack the time.  and there are always a thousand things need to be done.

third, i think im a bit perfectionist. there are things i want to do it by myself. i want things in order. i want things to be done. i want my kids to be busy; to have fun and to learn. am i asking too much?

lastly, i worry too much. the future, the finances, and not having time to pursue my goals and passion.   

yes, i wonder if i can be this person. yet i am THIS person. what is it that God has in store for me? what am i preparing for?

maybe it just one of those days. or maybe its the hormones. or, i may be worrying too much again.


i just wonder.

oops!

during raya's moving up day, robin wanted so much to join her ate and her friends in their program. she kept on tugging our hand so that we would let her go up the stage. when she was about to have her tantrums, we let her. she had her moment.

she enjoyed it even for a while. she really loves to sing and dance. ate raya will be the artist, and robin will be the performer. wow!

raya has moved up

a few weeks ago, raya had her moving up day and this marks the end of another school year. my heart was about to burst due to all the emotions that i was feeling. i was also actually forcing myself not to let the tears fall. dyahe!! seriously, i am so proud of her. she was awarded as one of the "little doodles" which means that she writes and draws well. this also means that she has excellent fine motor skills (according to the teachers' assessment). we've already noticed the artist in her since mid of last year. she likes to color, paint and draw. i've got tons of her art works already; giving it to me as her "surprise" because she says she loves me. she also gives it to her daddy "so that daddy can place it at his table in the office to show his friends". our walls at home, in the laundry shop, and even at her grammy's house have taped drawings. she did it herself. every picture has a meaning (DO NOT ENTER / NO KIDS ALLOWED HERE / FOR SALE / GOING TO CHURCH / I LOVE YOU,  etc.)  she is a visual type of person. she needs to see pictures to be able to understand and accomplish whatever is needed. in her math class, she draws so she can add or subtract. and not just ordinary shapes or stick people. if the problem says, if there are 5 frogs.... she will actually draw frogs! in reading, it will interest her if there are pictures. it helps her know the words.

little builders classmates: enzo, jk, joaqui, oyayi, calvin

i'm proud when she sang and danced during their presentation. she knows what she was doing. actually, she even teaches me and rob the dance moves and the lyrics of the songs at home ;) she was alyways smiling, a sign that she is enjoying it. with her classmates from little builders class, they sang the songs "da coconut nut" by the smokey mountain, "we're all in this together" from the movie high school musical and "yesterday's dream" by lea salonga. that did it for me. the message of the songs ... "and we need a hand to guide us, helping each other build each other as long as we're together you and me";  "we're all in this together"; "together we're there for each other". i felt for them. they were together for 2 school years learning, playing, attending each other's birthday parties, sharing snacks, toys, stories and experiences that makes them who they are. and that day marked the end of their togetherness since they will go their separate ways as each transfer to other school already. sad.

                          

"when i grow up, i want to be a chef"

but then, they need to learn more to grow and follow their dreams, right? in the program, the students got the chance to voice out what they want to be when they grow up. raya wanted to be a chef. perhaps she got the idea because she helps out everytime i cook and bake. plus her daddy always watch cooking shows. there are many things raya wanted to be. the top three are: 1) painter, 2) chef, 3) firewoman, and ofcourse, being a supehero is still in her list. cute. anyway, we try to support raya in all her interests. we encourage and we always tell her we appreciate everything she does especially her efforts.

during the parent-teacher-conference, i was scared again. this feeling really won't go away. haha. raya is a good kid. very responsible, obedient and patient. kind of oc-oc (obsessive compulsive too). takes her art work seriously. has an eye for detail. perfectionists. she is always willing to try new things. doesn't complain when extra work is given to perfect her writing and reading skills. obedient to teachers. performs tasks such as packing away and cleaning even without being reminded. adjusts easily to her environment and especially since she is the youngest in the class. all these and more according to her teachers ;)

we are so happy and proud. this is such a reward for us parents.

praise God!

visita iglesia 2012

visita iglesia this year was done with a different group this time. i know its tradition to do it with my BFFs (even shared our experience here) and i know too that one friend is disappointed but i can't help it :( i am so sorry. i invited them but they wouldn't join us. one, because it starts at 7 in the morning and 2, the other one needs to go to work. yep, work on a holy thursday. people depended on her.

anyway, for the first time in the 6+ years that we are married, husband, together with the girls, joined me. husband is a christian and visita iglesia is not one of their practices. it is also a first for the girls. we joined husband's fraternity brods together with their family. its one big group! it is their tradition too to do it together annually and followed by a lunch at the UP atrium, which their fraternity developed (and continuously developing). anyway, husband thought its going to be fun joining the group and so we did.

i am glad we did this together. this is meaningful for me especially since i am a Catholic. visita iglesia makes me remember and reconnect with God. this is one way to show the girls about Jesus and what He went through. remember, one of the goals this year is to let God be known to them. they now know that when we are at church, we pray. i let raya look at the pictures/painting/stained glass window so that she will have a visual picture of what i am talking about. they may not YET fully understand this, but at least this is a start.

it was a hot day. but we enjoyed it. time for reflection, camaraderie and family. kids asked us to buy whatever they see cos there were a lot of vendors selling goodies especially at this time of year. we just bought them cotton candy, corn cobs and ice cream. we had lunch, picnic style, after the visita iglesia. this they enjoyed the most.

some brought their tables and chairs

we brought our mats and malong and placed it under a tree for shade

ice cream to beat the heat

husband teaching the girls to throw rock at the water

playing badminton

thank God for such a day like this!