i told raya that i was going to have an injection (anti-cervical cancer shot) at the doctor's clinic. she asked me: "are you sick?" and i replied "no. but i need that shot so i won't be sick". and then she asked: "because you're old?". hmph! :) kids, where do they get these questions?! haha.
about being old, i don't know what to think of it. well, i want to grow old with my husband and be witnesses of our children's life story. that's it for now. i haven't even purchased a memorial plan yet. don't know when and where to retire nor what we will be doing. i know we should be prepared. but i guess, this is one of those things that i want to be ready for but can't prioritize just yet. i know i should, but hey, 1 thing at a time. well, i've thought some of the details already. all i know is that my wake should be by invitation only. haha. joke! well, i am not sure i want my enemies (or those who dont like me) to be there. flowers are ok but cash donation is more than ok. hey, i want to be practical. i want to be cremated. i want my necro to be an honest one. i don't want it to be overflowing with 'nice words' just because i am gone. i don't want to be too old and too sick and too weak. i don't want an oxygen tank breathing for me. in short, pull the plug!
yayks. this is getting morbid. it is reality. growing old, being sick, being alone, worrying about it... everything is real. this is what i want but i know only God knows. so i just have to pray. i guess what i really want is to be strong enough to live a good life and for my loved ones to remember the good times, the lessons and especially the love.
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