to go or not to go

once  again, hubby and his team are granted an incentive trip for having reached their target for the year 2011. destination: moscow, russia. and once again, we are thinking if i should go with him or not.

travelling is our guilty pleasure. it is what we love to do. we also consider it as our time alone together. sure we have our weekly dates and coffee/beer/mojito nights, but it is different when we are together in a different place. together we discover the place, culture and people. we also discover (or re-discover) each other. we learn from the experience. we learn from each other. it's a different kind of connection and of feeling and we both love it.

so why think twice and not just go, right? well, of course, going to moscow is not that cheap. well, travelling isn't cheap. guilty pleasure nga e! being the housewife and mom that i am, i am worried about the finances. on the other hand, this is an opportunity that not might come again. meaning, there might not be incentive trips anymore; or that sending 2 kids to school will totally hinder this guilty pleasure for a looooong time; or that moscow isn't just a place that would come to mind when you think of a destination for travel. besides, if i go, we'll just have to come up with my own travel finances since the company will be paying for hubby's fare with a little pocket money. so it's like 50% off on a travel to moscow!! pretty tempting, huh? haaay, if only i won the lotto.

it really might be so nice to visit this rich country

ivan the great. [photo borrowed from lonelyplanet.com]

st. basil's cathedral [photo borrowed from lonelyplanet.com]

if not now, i hope someday. if not here, then perhaps somewhere better.

robin is now 2

happy 2nd birthday robin!

know that you are so loved and blessed. we are so proud of you because of who you are and with what you have accomplished especially for the past months. God is good and faithful!

at this age, we can see your independence by wanting to do things on your own such as feeding, bathing, dressing up, brushing of teeth, washing hands and even walking on your own. hey kiddo, know that me and your daddy will always be here to guide you as long as we can and even whether you think you don't need our help anymore...

we see courage when you climb that high monkey bars at the park or you try on ate raya's big bike or sing your heart out even if you do not know yet the words. we are your number 1 fan ;) its funny how you want to use the big toilet bowl right away and not your pottie, but we are really proud of you.

we also can see your love for learning by wanting to read "ook" [books] all the time or tinkering with my laptop or daddy's itouch or playing with ate's laptop. all the things that the people around you does, especially ate raya and your cousin kuya miguel, you want to learn them all, taking it all in. thats good, honey, never ever stop learning.

remember a few months ago, we were so worried that you mght have a speech development problem. look at you now, we can't stop you from talking and talking with your loud voice! no worries my dear one, we are more than happy to hear you utter words especially the words "mommy" and "daddy" even if you have to wake us up in the middle of the night just to make you your "ilk" [milk]. knowing what you want and expressing them through words has lessened your tantrums. im not so worried anymore. i can't wait for you to say the words "i love you" and i also wouldn't mind to hear your stories someday about your day, your crushes, heart aches, your dreams and your thoughts no matter what they are.

we appreciate your love for eating everything even ampalaya. but rob, can you please lessen the sweets and chips? i know its our fault but please try :)

all these, you take it in stride and with a happy face all the time. that makes us happy too. we wish that you will continue this even when the ride gets tough. again, we will be there to share your pain and as well as your joys.

happy birthday rob! we love you so much!

trial number 2

as i've mentioned before, the search for big school for raya continues. and so we had her assessed in one of the schools in our list. actually, school #2 is supposed to be at the bottom of our list because of its location. it's a bit far from us. but a lot of friends have been recommending it. even our aunt, a school principal, suggested that school and that alone had put school #2 at the top.

and so me and raya went to check the place and have a feel of it. to see how raya would react to the place. we even practiced some question and answer just to prepare her in case the teacher would ask her name, age, etc. i was even ready to ask some questions to the administrator. but i didn't know she would be assessed right away. again, raya got shy. at least this time, she didn't clung to me. she just didn't look at the teacher and didn't answer. and so i was asked to leave the room :( so it was between the administrator and raya. after 15 minutes, i was called back. raya was ok. she was asked to draw, write her name, identify letters and numbers and was asked to cut the paper. teacher fe said she is ok. they have an available slot for the 11am-2pm class. i was like, "huh? thats it?! she's accepted na? ang bilis!"

i learned a few things from teacher fe, the school administrator. she stresses that they are strict in implementing values and asked if that's ok with me. she noticed also raya's lack of confidence in answering questions because most of the time, raya ends her answering with a high note. that can be improved through practicing. also to remind her that making mistakes is ok because "we are not perfect but only God is". i was a bit guilty about this. i might be too hard on raya that i might forget to say that making mistakes is no sin. oops! sorry. she suggest that raya should go in a progressive school and that she would be "just like any other kid" in a traditional school. she also noticed that raya could be ambidextrous. that was a surpriise for me. she asked me to just let her use whatever hand she is comfortable with. also, i was somehow reprimanded by teacher fe saying that being shy is not an excuse for raya not to answer when being talked to. she should answer and look at the person. oops again!

this was totally different experience from the first one. in the first trial, the teacher sweetly treated raya. with this second school, it was business-like treatment. you can see the strictness, the authoritativeness of a 50 year old teacher. tuition is a bit high. location not that far as i had expected. and they offer school bus service too. school is not too big and not too small. building is old but maintained.

maybe this is is the school for raya. maybe not. we do not know. as of this moment, the teacher is just waiting for us to make our non-refundable reservation fee. we are just not sure if we should continue with the search or stop. we don't have a basis for comparison since technically, raya haven't been accepted yet at the first shool. i read somewhere that the choice of school shouldn't just be based on recommendations. it depends on the need of the child too. as well as the mission-vision, the platform, etc. but i did my research already. i also asked raya. the thing is, she doesn't want to leave her current school. hehe.

i know for a fact that i should come up with a decision soon. it should be this weekend. husband, pls help me!! =)

that old age

i told raya that i was going to have an injection (anti-cervical cancer shot) at the doctor's clinic. she asked me: "are you sick?" and i replied "no. but i need that shot so i won't be sick". and then she asked: "because you're old?". hmph! :) kids, where do they get these questions?! haha.

about being old, i don't know what to think of it. well, i want to grow old with my husband and be witnesses of our children's life story. that's it for now. i haven't even purchased a memorial plan yet. don't know when and where to retire nor what we will be doing. i know we should be prepared. but i guess, this is one of those things that i want to be ready for but can't prioritize just yet. i know i should, but hey, 1 thing at a time. well, i've thought some of the details already. all i know is that my wake should be by invitation only. haha. joke! well, i am not sure i want my enemies (or those who  dont like me) to be there. flowers are ok but cash donation is more than ok. hey, i want to be practical. i want to be cremated. i want my necro to be an honest one. i don't want it to be overflowing with 'nice words' just because i am gone. i don't want to be too old and too sick and too weak. i don't want an oxygen tank breathing for me. in short, pull the plug!

yayks. this is getting morbid. it is reality. growing old, being sick, being alone, worrying about it... everything is real. this is what i want but i know only God knows. so i just have to pray. i guess what i really want is to be strong enough to live a good life and for my loved ones to remember the good times, the lessons and especially the love.

faith, love, God, among other things

marriage, love, faith, God ... how do you explain these to a 5 year old? i honestly don't know. but my daughter asks about these things already. its hard as it is molding her into the best person that she can be. and giving her the "right" answers to her gazillion of simple questions would also depend on it.

it seems so sweet when she asked me to "marry her", but it breaks my heart to "turn her down". but still, i had to be firm and explain that i cannot marry her because i am already married to daddy... and so and so... and i would go ballistic when she would look at me and say, "but i want you to love me more". what am i supposed to think?!

faith? whats is it? it's something you believe in but cannot see. like what?

God? who is God? He is the daddy of Jesus. oh, He lives in the clouds? yes. He is also around us. where, i cannot see Him. who is Joseph?

so God is like a superhero? yes. wow, thats cool!

she once suddenly asked: "why is superman wearing a panty?"

there was a time when we were at my mom's house when i told her that we will have snack at our own house since there is no food there (forgot to explain that they havent gone to the market/grocery yet). she then asked, they are not blessed?

oh my gosh. i really have to think of the words i use. i just want to introduce the kids to God even this early. i want them to realize that we are blessed to have shelter, food and even books and toys. i don't mean for them to think that others are not blessedjust because they don't have food. so how do i explain this?

about sharing. we always tell her that sharing is good. so what will i do or say when she gives her baon to her busmates and nothing left for her? she also got the cookie i was eating so her busmates could eat it because her friends "like it" and that "sharing is good?". i told her that she should eat it first and think of herself first before other people. even that seems not so good. hay!

money. i remind her that she needs to study hard, work hard so she'll have money. and she said that i should work hard so i can give HER money.

yes, these are all funny and cute. smart too. but i still need to choose my words and just trust that she would become the best person that we want her to be.