being jobless

quitting my job a few years ago took me awhile to do before finally doing it. the deciding factor was that i didn't like anymore what i was doing. there was no way my career was going somewhere up. in fact, there is no career at all. sheesh. really there is no bitterness here. i'm glad i was able to do it because it led me to the toughest but most rewarding job on earth which is motherhood.

being jobless-slash-unemployed-slash-non-earner has its downside which gets to me sometimes. i have no assurance that i'll have money (a.k.a salary) twice a month. so i have to watch my spending even the necessities. its scary especially when there's an emergency. i used to not worry about being hospitalized since the company i used to work for shoulders the employee's hospitalization 100%. i don't have those important benefits anymore. 

it really sucks sometimes, having no means and or security. like when i want to buy something for my husband or for the kids to surprise them. or like when i want to give to my parents. wala lng or simply to help them. or like when i want to buy christmas presents for family and friends. i can't just do that easily like i am expecting a bonus or even a salary every 15th and 30th of the month. not buying for myself is easy. i am not most girls who are into shopping. i am not hard to please and i have a generous husband :) i already know those things such as live simply, spend less, live within your means, you couldn't buy time, you can give yourself as a present,  pera lang yan,  etc. etc. blah blah. yup, i know, right?! it's really not about worrying what i will do with my time, it's about security and, i guess you can call it, financial freedom. and this is real.

for the past years, my husband's salary is the one supporting our finances. what i earn from the businesses have helped too. i want to help more. to put more food on the table. i hope that it will grow more.

how did we survive or how will we cope? i will rely on His grace and provisions.