robin at 11 months

two weeks from now and robin will turn 1. yup, time flies so fast. at 11 months old, she smiles a lot (more so bungisngis), knows how to wave when you say bye bye or hi, have 5 teeth, gets mad when you get something from her or when you don't give what you want, knows how to get down from the bed, knows high five, smacks her lips when you say kiss, doesn't like to be alone, likes to play hide and seek, so happy everytime she sees ate raya, and robin can stand and walk through gliding. 

we are blessed that she is one happy and healthy kid. there's just one concern of ours, she seems small for her age and can't walk yet on her own. i wonder if it's because i breastfed for only 5 months :( is that really the effect for not completing the recommended six months of breasfeeding? our pedia is not worried yet. though she added robin's vitamins, she assured us that it is not yet time to go to a "height-weight" specialist. robin is still young and besides, raya used to have the same concern when she was robin's age. also, we her parents, as well as the members of the family, are not really in the heavy and tall side. my older sister is just 4'9"!! sheesh! anyway, so recently, i've been really monitoring robin's milk intake and makes sure that all her vitamins are given. she seemed to have gained weight. yipee!!

im sad that i wasn't able to breastfeed for six months or more. but i did really try. some mothers find it easy. i didn't. it was kind of difficult for me at that time. though i was already a stay-at-home-mom, i was stressed and tired most of the time. i was handling 2 businesses, a household and a toddler/pre-schooler. and i only have 1 helper/yaya at home. not to make excuses, but that was really it. 

i am not guilty too because i didn't let robin go hungry :) i can't stand hearing her cry of hunger because few milk comes out of me. so i started giving her formula. i know that's better than not giving her anything. its also good that robin dont get to feel the stress that i was feeling. i'd rather she drinks her formula, be full and be happy. :)

one morning

its drizzling outside and me and the girls are enjoying the cool weather. we're in the bedroom. rob taking her morning nap, gab doing her new puzzles and coloring book while i tinker with my laptop. nice!

it's been almost a week now and my first daughter Raya is still sick

:( fever is on and off. she still have colds. she had our cbc & urinalysis yesterday. and i'd like to mention that she did not cry during the blood extradction. we're proud! :) and since it's our pedia's birthday was yesterday, she can't be reached for the results. even if we do get the results from the laboratory, we wouldn't be able to interpret it, right? here we are so worried because we don't know why Raya is sick and our pedia is unavailable!! anyway, we got the results and ask our doctor friends. thank God for them!! base on the numbers, it seems that it's just a viral thing. thank God!! her ninang also recommended to take paracetamol instead of ibuprofen. since late last night up to now, Raya is ok. hopefully, she will recover completely. and hopefully, our pedia is available tomorrow for another consultation. hay! and hopefully too, none of us will get the virus especially rob since we sleep in just one room. i trust that the breastmilk she got from me for the past 6 months will protect her.

happy 2mos old!!

happy 2 months old baby robin gail!! im happy and proud of you. always! me and daddy are glad that you've grown and looks so healthy. im also happy that im able to breastfeed exclusively up to this time despite the fact that it takes so much time and that i sometimes feel that its the only thing i do in a day :) i'll keep on pushing myself, for your good health. we love you!

breastfeeding

i am worried. worried that i may not reach the 6th month to breastfeed baby gail exclusively. i am worried that i may not produce enough milk; 1) because i think i have too many things to do that i get tired by early evening, 2) because i am about to give up. that's sad isnt it, giving up? well, there are so many things that i have to do that i can't because i 'need to breastfeed'. my quality time with my husband and first daughter is also at stake. plus i am worried about earning on the side too. i honestly want to complete the 6 months. Lord, pls help me. also, i am confused because i research a bit on what to eat and what not to eat when breastfeeding. some says, one can eat anything. some says, you can't eat some food just yet. hay... what to do, what to do...

oh my...! am i having post partum? or just being a worry wart again? or having trouble managing my time?